On a blog post recently, there was a discussion about family vacations and sex. The author of the blog (a female) thought that if a family is going on a vacation together such as camping, one needs to forgo sex since the whole family will be sleeping in the same room or tent. Boy, did this get a lot of interesting discussion in the comment section. I am going to publish some of the comments for you.
"Sex is what recharges my batteries. Sex is what makes me feel alive, loved, cared for, respected...I could go on, but I just got the feeling that what I looked forward to on a vacation did not matter at all to the author of this article. ...but really half an hour out of 24 and you can't prioritize your husband? It just didn't sit well.
"As far as the whole same room thing and the negative responses, you all need to find a way to be much more creative. Ninety percent of the time there is a way to have sex if it's important enough to you. Yes, it takes thought, planning and a dash of daring but again if you put in the thought and planning, the children will never know. I will just state that I would be absolutely devastated if my wife took this approach (not having little to no sex on family vacations). And I'm going to go kiss her right now and tell her how awesome she is because she doesn't."(Robert)
"Also to the man who said 75 percent of the reason he goes on vacation is for sex, that's really sad. I go on trips with my family to get away from the everyday, enjoy a new piece of this world, learn something new, enjoy my family and many more reasons. But sex is not the reason for a family vacation!" (Charyse - This is how most women responded.)
"Let me say, I give my life and lay down my life every day for my wife and children. I spend hours with my children everyday. If I'm not at work providing for my family, I'm with them and I talk with my wife everyday. Why is it so bad of me to want to have sex with my wife in Yellowstone? Or under the wide open Arizona sky where God paints the sky? I have self control everyday. I don't spend money on me. I don't look at other women. I don't waste time I should spend with my family. They get my life, my thoughts, my sweat and blood. Why is it wrong of me to want to do the thing I enjoy most on this earth when I,too, am on vacation?" (Robert)
"So all this is to say that whether at home or on vacation, sex should be a regular part of our married lives! Now, I will say that we have sex ALL the time, anywhere. We went on a cruise last year and took our two daughters, three and eight. Now everyone knows how small those rooms are. However, we used the darkness and made sure they were sleeping to get our sexcapades on. We just had to be more quiet than normal" (TC).
"Bathrooms at a hotel or relative's house, family shower rooms at campgrounds, fun under a blanket in the dark by the camp fire after the little kids are in bed, etc. If it doesn't work out, fine. But my husband feels loved every time I try or even think of a way to try" (Amber).
"Sex is important to her husband, so Amber tries to find fun and creative ways to make her husband feel loved. Amber understands her husband, and instead of trying to change him or make him 'behave,' she embraces who he is and what he needs and she tries to make him feel loved whenever possible. In short, if more wives approached sex with Amber's attitude, the divorce rate would plummet. God bless Amber" (Mark).
Many of the women commenting thought most men are pigs for having the viewpoints of Robert and Mark. They feel they should be able to go on a family vacation and not think about sex. Most men couldn't think about going on a vacation without having lots of intimacy with their wives. They are synonymous to men and there are ways to be creative and discreet when on family vacations. Most men work their tails off for their families! They are nothing close to being a pig. They are simply men who enjoy sexually intimacy with their wives and there's nothing wrong with that!
Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time,
so that you may devote yourselves to prayer,
and come together again so that Satan
will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
I Corinthians 7:5
***Notice this verse doesn't include family vacations as an excuse to withhold sex from your husband! One of my readers pointed out that in the olden days, most families had to live in one bedroom homes. The same goes for many poor countries. Are the husbands never supposed to get sex in these situations?
Leslie A · 622 weeks ago
lizabee22 2p · 622 weeks ago
Anna · 622 weeks ago
Vicki W. · 622 weeks ago
Heather · 622 weeks ago
misti · 622 weeks ago
My husband is NO pig. He works hard and deserves me whenever he likes:)
-blessings
Tracy · 622 weeks ago
God bless
Tracy
Ann · 622 weeks ago
Ann
theatypicalhousewife 6p · 622 weeks ago
ANNA · 622 weeks ago
Tamar · 622 weeks ago
Allison · 622 weeks ago
jsr · 622 weeks ago
Well, the Bible says spouses have sex unless they abstain by MUTUAL consent. And even then it is for a limited time for prayer. How much time are you devoting to prayer on vacation? So many individuals not taking the Bible seriously.
Kim · 622 weeks ago
Danielle B · 622 weeks ago
I find it a shame that wives would deny their husbands on vacation! Depriving your husbands gives place for the enemy to come in and drop lustful thoughts into your husbands mind. Get creative, use the shower,! Or just the bathroom itself. No one says sex has to last an hour, have a quickie, have your longer sessions at home.
Stacy · 622 weeks ago
Barbara · 622 weeks ago
nosogoodgirl · 622 weeks ago
Gina W. · 622 weeks ago
Ken · 622 weeks ago
The Bible is clear on many things, and some things it leaves open under an admonition to seek sound reason and wisdom in all we do.
Sex should always be done with discretion and privately. The vacation issue of one room with the kids, or a tent with kids probably means that the couple should hold off until the kids are out of the room, or go someplace private.
Most important I think in these discussions is that each couple must decide how important it is to have sex during vacation, and plan appropriately. Wives who believe in husband leadership should make their thoughts clear on the subject, but be willing to defer to his judgment on the issue.
Lastly, for some who are so opposed to sex when kids are sleeping in the room, much of this depends on the kids ages, and no one is saying they are making noises or not under the covers. Under the covers quiet sex with kids up to 8 years old in the room is probably a non issue, but teenagers in the room it is probably not wise.
Remember, throughout most of history the whole family was in a tent or one or two bedroom homes with thin walls. Sex is not a bad thing, so teach your kids early that it is to be enjoyed in a marriage. No child is being defiled by hearing Mom and Dad having sex, but it can feel like being defiled if the child is not educated to know the difference between marriage sex and sex outside of marriage. For goodness sakes,.. this is how the child was made when Mom and Dad make love... a beautiful thing,
So be reasonable. There is no right on wrong here, but there are certain key ideas that should be followed: Men want and need sex on vacation to make vacation fun, and parents need to find a private time and place to make love.
Alysee · 622 weeks ago
Dearely beloued, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrimes, abstaine from fleshly lusts, which warre against the soul. 1 Peter 2:11
Abstinence in marriage is still in The Bible.
Gen · 622 weeks ago
Michael · 622 weeks ago
Allison · 622 weeks ago
Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Ken · 622 weeks ago
You are correct in the "Letter of the Law" and a godly wife married to a selfish and inconsiderate man may do best to be silent and give in to all he requests in the hopes that some day he may become a loving man of God.
When a Christian wife is submissive to her husband it is a wonderful thing that God can use to advance His kingdom. But submission is only 40% of the equation for a godly marriage. The other 60% entails love and sacrifice by a loving husband who asks his wife to be His Help Meet by telling Him what she thinks and feels, and he seeks her wisdom. Yes, he can make the final decisions in the marriage, but if he is godly his decisions will follow the pattern of love proscribed for him in God's Word, followed by the fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, meekness, temperance and faith.
There are many passages in the scriptures that should cause every loving husband to want to know his wife's opinion, and to have her dissuade him if she is acting out of love and unselfishly.
I am not sure of you are for real... or a troll ... but as Lori's husband, I appreciate her willingness to obey the Bible and submit to me, and in turn my love for her demands that I honor her and her desires. Honor may mean accepting, or simply acknowledging them in a way she feels cared for and loved.
It is nothing more or less than the love and authority exhibited in the godhead. Jesus submits His will to the Father, and the Father turns around and places all things under His feet. Perfect union and perfect love with all three persons of the godhead pleasing each other perfectly.
Why not target a much higher view of marriage and allow your wife to dissuade you at times, then if you disagree, do it in a gentle and loving way, because that is God's call on our lives.
And I have lots of scripture to defend my position on this and Christ our example is my best defense.