Friday, May 2, 2014

Extremely Messy Homemakers


When I was growing up, my mom had a very dear friend who she was very close to.  She was a terrible housekeeper, however.  When I would babysit, I would clean the kitchen for her and it would take hours.  Everything was a mess.  It would be a terrible place to live in.

When my children were growing up, we had a neighbor who was the same way.  I sent a young woman who was helping me when I had four small children and Ken was traveling half the year to clean her house one time.  She said it was terrible.  She found dog poop on the floor, it was infested with fleas, and smelled badly.  My children detested the days that she was the driver for the carpool.  Her car smelled like vomit and it was trashed.

One of the reasons for being a keeper at home is to take care of the home, to keep it neat and tidy.  It is important to train your children help you keep it this way.  I realize that it is MUCH more difficult when you have small children and it is almost impossible to keep the house orderly but simply do what you can with the energy you have.  Get rid of clutter.  We don't need nearly as many things as we have.  Your children don't need many toys. God is a God of order and discipline and we must strive to be this way also.  

However, spending time raising godly children is much more important than a perfectly spotless home.  These are from the words of Marilee Horton, "I had another friend who kept the messiest house in town, rarely got a meal together on time, ironed what clothes the children needed right before the school bus came.  While maintaining better control than that is important to me it wasn't to her.  Every day when the kids go home she sat and leisurely listened to their chatter.  With four children this could take hours,  all the 'time-killing' made me nervous but in the long run I learned a valuable lesson from her.  The art of communication takes time and when the children feel they are worth it, the atmosphere is set at secure."

I still think a mother should do everything she can to keep her home as neat and tidy as possible by not wasting time watching television and playing on the computer!

But all things should be done decently and in order.
I Corinthians 14:40

Comments (60)

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My mom was a homemaker, my father owned 2 stores, so she was able to stay home and all that. We never pinched pennies a day in our life growing up.

My mom kept an immaculate home... All 3 of us kids would say she was borderline OCD about it. My mom collected antiques and fine furniture, she did have knit knacks, but not a TON like some homes. And they were NICE knit knacks, not dollar tree knit knacks lol. I guess you could call it decor?

I'm thankful we grew up in a home that was immaculate! And we had a dog and a cat. My mom vacuumed probably once a day. At one time she did have a cleaning lady come in. LOL we all would have to clean before she came because my mom didn't want the lady to see it "dirty". Yeah, okay, mom, the house was never dirty. Well except the kids bedrooms lol. We rebelled!
7 replies · active 582 weeks ago
I like this post--order is very important! I would like to expound on something you touched on--for mothers with young children, keeping a neat house is very difficult! At that time of life just remember there is a difference between clutter and filth. With small children your house will probably always be cluttered--you put things away and the children will just pull it back out. They're into everything and curious about everything. But at that stage of life--it's okay! However it is never okay to have a filthy house--the kind Lori talked about her neighbor having. If there is food everywhere, insect or rodent infestations, piles of dirty dishes and laundry, and generally an environment where people are uncomfortable, that is not okay! Even with small children you can prevent filth even if the clutter is inevitable.
1 reply · active 585 weeks ago
Yeah, who knows about been Godly and keeping a house clean. My mother kept a lovely and perfectly clean home for us and dad. She was a stay at home mom even though we weren't rich folks, up until my youngest brother was in Jr.HS. She would have us a pretty home and hot meals everyday for dinner when we all got together, prayed and talked about moral ways and many other topics dad and my mom would teach us. Later when she started to work she still kept a perfectly clean house! I learned from her as I would be 'embarrassed' to have an unclean and unkept home for my husband first of all! Thank goodness my two daughters have lovely and cleaned perfect homes too!
Always a great post! Have a nice weekend.
FABBY
1 reply · active 585 weeks ago
My mom is a horrible homekeeper. Now as she's getting older she's become a hoarder. When we were young there were fleas everywhere, cat urine on kitchen countertops even! And don't get me started on the piles and piles of stuff. Of course, what kind of man did I end up marrying? A super organized one. Life is funny. I had no training whatsoever. But I promised myself I would keep the house clean for him. To this day it is hard for me to keep a routine. I have never ever let it get filthy though. My husband would never stand for that! I'd have to be a real jerk of a wife to insist that I had no responsibility to keep the house clean. I agree with the above poster who suggested you visit this topic again. I feel like I need fairly constant reminders in this area.
3 replies · active 582 weeks ago
Well, I fail in MANY areas, but I do feel like house cleaning is a strength I have! Haha. It helps us to have very few belongings. Less clothes, less toys, etc. It also helps to do my nightly cleaning routine which consists of dishes, wiping up the kitchen, everything in its place, and then sweeping and vaccuuming the main living areas. Then one night a week I stay up late to scrub the whole house - tubs, toilets, mopping everywhere, etc. I also try to keep up on laundry by washing and putting away a load every single day. If you break it up like that it really becomes more about maintaining and is SO much easier to keep on top of. This is with 3 small children in our home. Now if I could just get such a great schedule and motivation for cooking we'd be set! ;)
4 replies · active 585 weeks ago
I think this is an important topic, thank you for writing about it. I want my husband and children to feel a sense of relief and relaxation whenever they come home. Now, my wonderful husband would never complain if the house was a bit messy when he arrived home, but still, it doesn't take a long time to keep the house clean if we all get to it every day, and keep something of a schedule. I do not come by it naturally; I have to make up my mind to be disciplined so that my family can feel a sense of sanctuary and peace. Our girls are learning to help me with this and to see the value of doing basic tasks on a daily basis so that it doesn't get overwhelming. I have learned to keep a cheerful attitude about housework; if my girls hear me grumbling, they will grumble as well. Thank you for this post and for the link to Nony's blog!
1 reply · active 585 weeks ago
What did the messy friend do all day while her kids were at school?
3 replies · active 582 weeks ago
I keep seeing these posts where it appears there is some kind of moral high ground if your home is a wreck going around on fb.
As if having a pigstye for a home equals good parenting and a clean home equals bad parenting. Good parenting is keeping a clean home and training your children too.

Messy homes are usually due to a lack of skill or will. I have kept clean homes working doubles 6 days a week and going to college full time, running several businesses, chronically ill, injuried, pregnant, selling homes, moving, small children underfoot and a husband gone on business.

I am setting a standard not lowering them. It is awful to see women who are Christians, homemakers or home schoolers and you cringe using their bathroom.
3 replies · active 585 weeks ago
I really think it's the motive behind it. I can clean my house to feel good/ impress others or I can do it to serve the Lord and my family. Then I can know I am doing the right thing. This is important to me, because I can get stuck on WHAT is the right thing to do instead of the Who I am serving. Then I can listen to children when needed and not be distracted by the WHAT to do:)
2 replies · active 585 weeks ago
I kept an immaculate home, I couldn’t live in a mess, it would drive me mad. My mother is the same - we have decided it is in our genes, I would tidy up from a very early age and nothing has changed as I grew older. Some people are born organisers and mum and I fall into this group. Others are messy and need to work on their skills.

I never go to bed at night unless the dishes are done, the lounge is back looking neat and tidy. There is nothing worse than waking in the morning to see a pile of dirty greasy dishes in the sink and having to tackle it - its depressing. I always make sure the bed is made in the morning and I never go off to work unless the kitchen is clean and tidy. It means when I come home from work the house is welcoming and cosy without mess or chaos (it makes coming home a joy). It isn’t hard to do if you have a routine and stick to it. My husband likes to live in a clean and tidy home (he isn’t a messy person either) and I made sure that is the way it is - it is very achievable, even for working mothers. Once you have order it is much easier to keep order, but you do need to be disciplined and not lazy otherwise things can start to slip.

When my children were little I had brightly coloured boxes and at the end of the day (before dinner and bath) I would get them to place all their toys in the boxes. It didn’t take long before they could do it themselves. If they cooked in the kitchen, they had to clean up their mess. It isn’t hard to teach children to clean up after themselves. Now I have two very tidy adult children who have their own tidy homes.

Our homes should be a place to retreat and find peace and calmness, this is hindered if it is messy and dirty. Just think - would you feel ok about inviting Jesus into your home?
3 replies · active 585 weeks ago
Loving been his wife's avatar

Loving been his wife · 585 weeks ago

I wonder how many women who don't keep their home clean, tidy and homely suffer from undiagnosed depression? Is it that they just suffer so bad that it stops them from staying on top of what we would call a normal day!
For some people even with medication just staying on top of their depression is a full time job; sadly!
Also some people get married have children and then fall victim to depression in their late 20-30's. I know of a lot of people that this has happened to it is so sad to watch!!!
Just a thought!
8 replies · active 585 weeks ago
Loving been his wife's avatar

Loving been his wife · 585 weeks ago

I have also found that for me a To Do List is what helps me keep on top of what has to be done. I love lists and the effect that they have on my day!
Also, I know that this is going to sound funny but if I put an apron on as soon as I am dressed for the day, I get way more done.
The apron helps me to stay on track; there is something about my apron that just has the wonderful effect on me!

I would love to know if anyone else feels that way???? I live with dreadful anxiety (not the form of anxiety that you get from thinking anything bad but the other one) so sometimes staying on track with my day is very hard, but if I have my *To Do List* and my beloved *Apron* on; my day is a breeze. It feels so good to have a place where I can say that out loud.
Another thing I do to help is I read as much about my career as a Keeper of my Home as I can, I also down load a lot of videos from the internet so I can learn more ways to do a better job; and my prayer everyday is Lord please help me to be a better Keeper of my Home today than I was yesterday! God always hears and helps; I could never do this on my own!
oxo
2 replies · active 585 weeks ago
When my daughter complained about the condition of the house, I pointed out that we are not neat, but are sanitary. I've been in places where I was fearful of using the toilet, taking my chances with lions and snakes. My family doesn't fear using the toilet because I keep it clean. We have clean clothes, take showers, brush our teeth. So what if the bed is unmade from time to time.
I want to add that my house is about to be trashed as we are having new carpet and paint. A long two weeks lie ahead.
It is not always possible for women to keep their homes tidy. A woman should not be judged on the cleanliness of their homes, but rather the happiness of their children and husband. I would like to mention that my home did not look so neat and tidy when I was dealing with a moderate case of pneumonia. I really wouldn't wish that on anyone. I could hardly breathe or move for a month without a lot of pain. I couldn't move about and tend to basic house cleaning. My husband and I couldn't afford to hire someone like you did to help out. My husband did his best to keep the house clean, but his primary concern was making sure that I was comfortable and getting past being sick. But then, you seem to imply a lot that house cleaning is a woman's domain anyways.
I wish I could keep my house sparking clean but its just not always possible. I hope those who post here can find it within themselves to encourage women who struggle in this area .

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