If you want to be a keeper at home, one of the first things you need to do is step back and honestly evaluate where you might be giving away too much of your time and energy. If the various activities and commitments in your life are leaving you too worn out to meet the needs of your husband, children and home, then something has got to go. Obviously, it's not going to be the husband, children and home!
Take a good look at your calendar. how many hours will you be away from home in a typical week? Can you remember the last time you spent at least two consecutive days at home? Are you cheerful every time you pack up the kids, walk out the door and head off to the next meeting, lesson, outing, appointment, practice, etc.? Are your kids happy? Or, do you look at your busy calendar with dread and are your kids crabby and cranky when you are out so much? Do you manage to keep your house in a reasonable state of order? Does your family sit together around the dinner table more than two times a year? Does your husband get enough of your time and attention?
These are all questions I stopped to ask myself many years ago because I was burned out and frustrated and I needed answers. I decided to take a hard look at what the bible teaches about women. What I found was a portrait of quiet, humble commitment to excellence in domestic life. I finally admitted to myself, my God and my peers that I really didn't enjoy involving myself in dozens of outside activities. I realized that I needed to be home most of the time if I wanted to aspire to that biblical ideal.
And so, I began to disconnect from the activity-filled lifestyle which was modeled all around me. I had no idea up until that point the depth of satisfaction waiting for me in the daily work of the "homestead" life.
I have experienced real joy in the simple act of baking a healthy dinner for my family or sweeping the floors once again. I have heard the voice of the Spirit whisper in my heart while I did nothing more than quietly hang a load of laundry on a warm spring morning. There is a deep sense of purpose and contentment in this humble work which can be found nowhere else.
In his book, The Pursuit of God, A. W. Tozer had this to say ~
The simplicity which is in Christ is rarely found among us. In its stead are programs, methods, organizations and a world of nervous activity which occupy time and attention but can never satisfy the longing of the heart.
This easily describes the majority of Christian women I have known at one time or another, including myself. We seem to be prone to the "Martha Syndrome," always busily rushing about trying to live up to the expectations of others or those we load on ourselves. Truth be told, many of us are just wiped out.
This is not a life of servitude or drudgery. Nor is it about having the perfectly appointed home. If joyfully embraced, this home-centered life will lead to
freedom, peace and fulfillment. We will become the wife and mother
we were created to be.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30
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freedom, peace and fulfillment. We will become the wife and mother
we were created to be.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30
photo source
Follow Always Learning's board Financial Posts on Pinterest.
Lindsay · 571 weeks ago
Susan Taft · 571 weeks ago
Colleen · 571 weeks ago
Soon enough we were out and about 3 to 4 times a week and our home life suffered. I was too tired to cook, school work got postponed and I found that even though we were out and about the twin toddlers were never content because they needed to be in the stroller the entire time so they wouldn't run off. I fell for the lie that if we were out of the house we would be happier. That was not the case.
It was my husband that finally brought us back home after a couple of months. Turns out he was sick of a messy house and fast food and a wife that was too tired at the end of the day to spend time with him.
During that time though I realized where my heart truly was though. I am a happier wife at home, cooking our meals from scratch, homeschooling and cleaning... as much as possible with 5 little ones. And maybe I just didn't find the right balance of my wifely duties and our outside activities? Or maybe our twins just need to be older? Because let's face it, no one wants to be out with two screaming toddlers. But, for this season in my life, my place is at home. Not out.
We do go out, a few times a month to Bible Studies or dollar movies or outings with our homeschool group, but now in moderation. And saying no and being scoffed at by outsiders is better than my husband feeling neglected. I still don't think I have the right balance, maybe I never will, but I'm glad to see this encouragement.
Christine · 571 weeks ago
Colleen mentioned being content. Why can't we be CONTENT?
Keeping up with the Jones is not good. God even gave us the tenth Commandment.
Well said Lori and ladies!
Lori Alexander 122p · 571 weeks ago
I just posted this on my facebook the other day and your words reminded me of it ~
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” {Jim Carrey}
Maria · 571 weeks ago
Tam · 571 weeks ago
Becky · 571 weeks ago
ChristyH · 571 weeks ago
veronicasthoughts 15p · 571 weeks ago
Here is an excerpt from Nancy Leigh De Moss' book, 'LIES WOMEN BELIEVE AND THE TRUTH THAT SETS THEM FREE':
"Frustration is the by-product of attempting to fulfill responsibilities God does not intend for us to carry. Freedom, joy, and fruitfulness come from seeking to determine God's priorities for each season of life, and then setting out to fulfill those priorities, in the power of His Spirit, realizing that He has provided the necessary time and abilities to do everything that He has called us to do."
I wrote a piece, entitled: HOW DO I KNOW THIS IS GOD'S WILL FOR ME? http://peacefulwifephilippines.blogspot.com/2014/...
I think, we deceive and delude ourselves into thinking that busying ourselves with a million and one activities is how we best serve God with our time, talent and treasure. That's a lie. All we need to do is silently seek His Will to know what our specific purpose is, and focus on that. We'd be surprised at how perfectly light the "burden" is and the "yoke", easy. :)
God bless!
Nikka
Amanda T. · 571 weeks ago
Jo · 571 weeks ago
Jamie · 571 weeks ago
I think she's right. You can have a husband and full time job as long as you don't have children. Or the children get put into other's care. You can have a full time job and pay lots of attention to your children, but your husband will get forgotten. Or you can have a husband and children, but your job will take a back seat.
Brit · 571 weeks ago
Mrs. W. · 571 weeks ago
Thanks Lori for the great post! Your website is one of my very top favorites. God Bless!
Missy · 570 weeks ago
mbb · 537 weeks ago